MY MODEL AIRPLANE WAS IN " THE SHIT"

-" The Distinguished Warfare Medal will be awarded to pilots of unmanned aircraft, offensive cyber war experts, or others who are directly involved in combat operations but who are not physically in theater and facing the physical risks that warfare historically entails."

-"It will have precedence over — and be worn on a uniform above — the Bronze Star with Valor device, a medal awarded to troops for specific heroic acts performed under fire in combat."

 I sat here really at a loss of words for a good 45 min, not understanding the logic at all behind this move, when out of nowhere it hit me. I know what is happening..... and the filthy, vile, no honor, bitch-ass, POG has out smarted us using their very own kryptonite...... snacks. They must be pushing our Secretary of Defense deeper into a probable diabetic booby-trap with every memo that crosses his cluttered desk. A typical morning must look like this:

Summarized Army Request Memorandum - Sir we need to get rid of the ACU's... The pattern, as it turns out.... is not camouflage at all.

Secretary of Defense - FUCK NO!!! THE ACU's were made from technology we stole off the movie set for PREDATOR!!!!! THEY BLEND PERFECT!!!!!!!!! Demote the man-slave that typed up this trash.

Summarized Army Request Memorandum II -  Sir our brave men continue to fight our enemies overseas at the cost of limbs and lives. However, women are increasing their number of complaints to say that they are not promoted fairly and can't get into an Infantry MOS. See attached box of Thin Mint cookies for further points of validity.

Secretary of Defense - Bitches be trippin???? Not in this Army...*munch *munch  *munch.....Lower all standards, and fire any who disagree with my theory arguing that in fact : women can do it too. *munch *munch *munch...We won't bother asking our grunts if they agree with this, I'm leaving soon....

Summarized Army Request Memorandum III - Yo Dawg..... we want a Medal for our very specialized task in the Army, and like, we need promotion points muthafuckka..... so if I like give dis bag of gummy bears to yo azz.... can you like um.....give us some shit or something??!!

Secretary of Defense -  I get the gummy bears first right?

 I have several friends that have bronze stars, some of them were given the award posthumously after death. I'm sorry to disagree with JABBA DA Sec-Def...... but no, not all soldiers are the same. All have a job to do, sure. But you're never going to convince me that men who charged enemy gun positions, men who have dragged their buddies out of an IED blast and patched them up to live, and those men who fought along side me- hold less relevance than a drone pilot practicing his craft in the AC of a trailer . The thought of disgracing their actions by placing the medal above the bronze star is what should be offensive to anyone not corrupted by snacks. Is there anything that my leadership will hold sacred other than the next promotion? -bigGuy